| Kip was born in
Philadelphia. That's where he first started to be Kip. Big John
is his dad, Betsy Pigface is his mom, and Nunin is his bro.
He went to school and liked to beat people at sports and then
laugh at them. Sometimes he lost, too. Sometimes he still looses,
and he hates it, but he knows it makes him more dominant in
the long run. He and his friends loved to make fun of each other
all the time, and if someone got upset, they would make fun
of them even more. It was wrong, but they really liked it, so
it was O.K. Young Kip also liked to run around in the woods
and pretend he was a barbaric nomad fighting evil monsters.
He would pretend he could talk to animals, only it wasnít
pretending. He really could and still can talk to the animals.
Not as good as Dr. Doolittle, but he's not a real person, and
Kip is. Kip started to play the piano because he loved music
and could never get it out of his head, like an evil curse.
He was very funky at an early age, and he could definitely get
down. You can check out some of his funky stuff. He is KLOB.
Then Kip went to college so he could study theatre. By this
time he was really liking the girls a lot and knew that making
them satisfied was what he was going to be best at for the
rest of his lifeÖ He tried to ignore this and finished
school, and when he was done, he had acted in a lot of plays,
played a lot of music, and made lots of people smile.
Kip then moved all over the country. Los Angeles, Las Vegas,
Seattle, and Jacksonville, Florida all fell prey to his infectious
humor and captivating wit. He was a middle school English
teacher and coached soccer, basketball, football and softball.
Now he drives a lumber truck, delivering wood to needy rednecks.
Along his travels he has experienced many wonderful adventures,
like Bilbo Baggins or Luke Skywalker; only not as short and
fat as Bilbo and not as much of a crying little bitch as Luke.
He is sure to continue to change the lives of maybe a few
thousand more people for at least ten years to come. |
